He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize