You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
