So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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