On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
