If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
