If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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