So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
