Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's always time for handjobs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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