I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
