All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hell yes lets make some ravioli
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Be still, my beating vagina.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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