I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize