I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Panties = found
Randomize
