I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
