Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
