Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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