I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
