They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
