so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
