last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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