SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
