Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have already put on my inside pants.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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