she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
