Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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