why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
