cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
