I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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