im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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