You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
