i'm lost and i look like a hooker
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize