When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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