If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
