Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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