I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
