No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
