i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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