The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
