i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
