I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm eating all of the evidence.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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