Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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