would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize