The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
May the power of my ass compel you!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize