windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woke up backwards on a recliner
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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