The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
