You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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