HIV tests are more positive than that guy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
