Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize