that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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