Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
