I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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