If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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