Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
