we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
