i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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