My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
