I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize