can u get pink eye on your cock?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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