Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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