hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
