Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize