Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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