Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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