dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
