im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How naked do you want me to be?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
