My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
