I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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