we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
