my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
