You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
