Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When are your genitals available?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
