I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
