goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
