so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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