my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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