Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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