she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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