wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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