I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize