I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
