I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
