...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
