You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
